Tuesday, 19 January 2016

Updated thriller treatment: Our final opening and story

Close up shot of a bare, exposed wall, with a blue hue of light on it. A medium shot of a few newspaper articles pinned to a wall, all of which have titles on the topic of abduction and kidnapping in the local area. Then a flickering shot of a TV screen, which is creating the blue hue of the room. The TV is playing the news reports. Then a medium shot of a man’s hand, resting on the arm of a sofa, holding a glass of whisky. Cut to more shots of the room, the wall and the newspaper articles. Then back to the TV screen and the news reporter. Then cut to close up shots of the man again: of his eye, of his clothes- a shirts and cardigan, of the newspaper sat next to him, and of his features, e.g mouth and stubble. His phone buzzes and he receives a message from a girl ‘Are you around this Tuesday?’ 

Iris, 16, is sitting in her study on her computer. The room is fairly girly and typical of a teenager, with a desk and folders full of work.  A Facebook message appears on her screen; it’s from a boy and it reads ‘can’t wait to see you later’. She opens up the full chat, and from the past conversation saved in the window it is clear that they have been talking for some time.

Iris is waiting on the train platform. It is clear from her body language that she is nervous and uncomfortable; twiddling her fingers, tapping her feet, biting her lip. Suddenly it cuts to a flash back- a man is shouting and throwing punches in the air out of frustration. It is unclear to make out his face, but some features are visible, similar to those of the man in the first scene. A ring is noticeable on his finger and he continues to throw his arms around in frustration. He is shouting at Iris and harassing her, the situation is visibly uncomfortable. He throws a glass across the room and shouts something especially vile at Iris. Cut back to Iris on the platform, she blinks her eyes open as the screams of her abusive ex- boyfriend fade into the past.  Iris is no longer nervous, but seems more frightened from her flashbacks. Her train arrives at the platform and she cautiously steps on.

Iris is walking up the street in the bitter evening air from the train station. The light is beginning to fade and she wraps herself tighter in her coat. She reaches the area where she is supposed to meet the boy. It is an empty entrance to a car park. Iris begins to look around slightly impatient. She begins to look nervous again. Her hands fiddling and feet tapping. As she looks along the empty road, there is nothing but the noise of rustling leave and a bitter chill that fills the air. She checks her phone and sees no messages, its 10 minutes past the time she was meant to meet the boy she was speaking to on the phone. She shoves her phone into her pocket and just as it looks like Iris is about to give up and leave a man comes up from behind her and covers her mouth. It’s the same hand that was seen in the opening scene and of her abusive boyfriend. The screen cuts to black.

Iris wakes up. She looks around but her eyes cannot see anything. As she continues to stare at her blank surrounding she begins to remember what happened, up to the point when she was grabbed from behind then blacked out. She touches her wet face, as she realises she’s began to cry. Her body is aching all over, she can feel that her skin is saw and sensitive. The bed she is lying on is hard, with no bedding, with only her clothes to keep her warm. She stubbles out of bed, and feebly finds her way to what she assumes is the door. She bangs on it and screams, but its locked. After twenty minutes of banging, kicking and screaming at the door Iris gives up and goes back to the mattress, curls up in a ball, and begins to whimper. 

She wakes up again to a dimly lit room, with a single light bulb. She looks over to the door to see a plate and cup. Hesitant, she gets up to go and see what it is. Iris picks up the plate of plain pasta, and the cup of luke warm water, her stomach grumbles as she realises that she can’t remember the last time she ate. She goes back to the bed to eat her meal, and surveys the room, she looks around and can only see a bucket in one corner. She is surprised that the food she is been given is warm. Then it occurs to her that if it is warm then whoever kidnapped her must be in the building. Iris quickly runs over to the door, banging violently on it.
‘I know you’re there’ she screams, ‘I know you’re up there you monster’. After around 30 minutes of banging and screaming, Iris stops, weak and tired she slumps down the door she once again and cries herself to sleep.

The same events occur for about four months, with intervals of sexual abuse and rape. Iris found out that the man who kidnapped her was her abusive ex-boyfriend** NAME**. After they broke up he began to plot a way to get her back. But his plan for love soon turned into a plan for ownership and revenge for how Iris’ abandonment of him. She had treated him so badly throughout their relationship that his only way to defend himself was through violence and control- which he knew was harsh but it was the only way.

Iris began to hate herself and her life, she could barely cope being in her own skin- she had not washed since the day she was capture, or had a change of clothes. She had to begin to create coping mechanisms, like pretending she was still leading a normal life, going to school, going to work, seeing friends, having dinner with her family, even imagining herself doing mundane tasks such as doing the washing up or walking her dog. Iris would look down at her bruised and battered body, she could barely move some days she was in so much pain from **boys names** abuse, and she was becoming skeletal from her diet of two cold plates of pasta a day, accompanied with a glass of water. She was also beginning to throw up the very little food she had eaten that day, due to stress, which was no help to her physical state. She prayed every day that she would survive this, with every bit of her will.

When it was getting to the end of the fifth month of her imprisonment there was a night when **boys name** threw her against the wall so hard that she passed out for three days. She woke up with a pillow under her head and a rough thin blanket over her. **boys name** stood over her with a blank expression on his face.
‘you’ve been out for three days’ he snarled, ‘and I think you may have also had a miscarriage.’ He glanced over her body as he slinked towards the door, ‘You know I don’t want to treat you this way, but you make me do it’.
Iris was so stunned she could hardly process the information. For the last few months she had been carrying a child, a being, one which had been produced by that man, that devil, and his abuse. How could she have once loved that man? She feebly put her hand on her swollen stomach. Her body ached all over, but she could not focus on the pain, it was out of her conscience, unlike the dead child. She rocked herself back and forth as she cried and screamed into her pillow. How could she have even brought a child into a world like this anyway?

Act 3
In the sixth month, Iris woke to loud crashing and then an extremely loud bang. She shuddered and covered her head with her arms at the thought of **boys name** coming into the room for the third time that day. The banging continued on the door, along with the clinking of keys and muttering. With one last final bang, **boys name** stopped and went back upstairs. Iris breathed a sigh of relief as she began to relax a bit.  After half an hour a door upstairs slammed, **boys name** must have left the house, which was highly unusual. Iris glanced over at the door wondering why **boys name** was banging on it, he had never done it before, unless he was really angry, and if that ever did happen he would open the door and come straight in to take his anger out on her. The door looked slightly different, almost crooked. Iris got up to look closer, as it may have just been the angle she was sitting at. The closer she got the more crooked the door looked, with the hinges looking very loose. The locks on the door also appeared a bit worse of ware, with the middle and towards the bottom of the door looking warped from all the kicking. She pushed the door out of curiosity and it creaked. The door never creeks and it has also never looked like this before.

It occurred to Iris that **boys name** had weakened the wood of the door a considerable amount, along with damaging the hinges and locks. Now, maybe, the door was weaker, weaker than normal, weaker then when she kicks it everyday, so maybe she would be able to kick the door open. With a sudden flush of excitement and hope Iris began to kick the door. She punched the door, ran at the door, threw her shoes at the door and kicked it with all the strength she could muster, and with each bout of aggression and energy the door would buckle and warp slightly more. She gave one final kick and the door buckled completely in the middle. She broke apart the cracked wood in the middle of the door making a whole just big enough to squeeze through. She put one leg and then the other through the whole, then her feet touched down on the other side of the door. She then pulled her torso through, her top pulled up resulting in the spikes of the wood ripping her skin, but Iris continued to pull herself through as nothing was going to stop her. Finally, she pulled her head through carefully, making sure not to scratch it like her torso.

Iris could not believe it; she was out. The first time she had left that filthy, disgusting room since the day she woke up there, at least six months ago. Once she had calmed herself down, she realised that she needed to be quick as **boys name** could be home any second. She raced up the stairs and as soon as she reached the top she heard jangling of keys. He was back. She quickly hid round the corner of the stair case. **boys name** swung open the door, dropped his bags and pulled out a wrench from one of them, then began to thundered down the corridor. She could hear his heavy breathing, and smell the familiar scent of stale sweat on his skin. As he came closer, Iris readied herself. Just as he got to the top of the stairs he let out a bellowing scream. He ran down the stairs and stuck his head through the hole. This was her chance, she had to run. She raced to the door, praying that **boys name** wouldn’t see her- but unfortunately he did. He began to clamber up the stairs just as Iris had grabbed his keys off the floor where he dropped the bags, and began to fumble with the locks. She could hear hi, coming up behind her shouting the same abuse that he always did, but with the added remarks of what he would if she didn’t get back in the basement. She continued to fumble with the keys, getting more nervous and sweaty, making it increasingly more difficult to get the correct keys in the locks. As he placed a hand on Iris’ shoulder, she swung at him with all the momentum and weight of her body. What **boys name** didn’t realise was that Iris had picked up the spare wrench from the bag next to the keys, which was two sizes larger than the one he had picked up. When Iris knocked him over the head with this, he fell to the floor and lay there unconscious.

Iris managed to open the door and run outside. She breathed in the fresh air and let the cold wind hit her face, with the last rays of the sun shining through the trees. She fell to her knees.




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